Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
