you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
