after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
