I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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