i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
