can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
