I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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