I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
