So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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