I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
