is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize