Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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