I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
