had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
