I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
