I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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