About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
it glows. i had to have it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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