Me too!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
