Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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