i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
