I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
