Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
