I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
