Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
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