I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
