i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
