Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
