If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
