just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
