Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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