ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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