Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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