Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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