I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
