So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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