We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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