But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
