Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
