Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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