I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
