You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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