Princesses don't give blow jobs
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
