She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
