I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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