So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
