Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
