You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
