Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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