im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
