Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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