i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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