So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
