this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
