No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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