i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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